Unlocking the Creative: 2011

The Little Drummer Boy

12/5/11

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I have some songs that I will regularly listen to, that bring comfort to my soul, no matter what the season. If I had to say there is a theme song for my life, it would be the "Little Drummer Boy." As much as I would like to say it’s the rhythm of the "pa-rum-pa-pum-pum" that I love; the words to the song are really the essence of what I want my life to be known for. (Please remind my family to sing this at my funeral!!!)

"Come they told me... A new born king to see..."

The invitation. I did not initiate a relationship with the Lord; He called me to Himself. The grace in my life has been defined by walking towards that call. I heard "come" and I am no longer living my life by my own agenda. It can make things a bit uncomfortable at times but I would rather trust His wisdom than mine.

"Our finest gifts to bring... to lay before the King... so to honor Him... when we come."

If I had to sum up what I want my life to be counted for, I want to be able to look back on the time I have had on earth and be able to present it to the Lord as well stewarded. This line of the song expresses what the goal of all that we do really could and should be: to honor someone greater than ourselves.

"Little Baby... I am a poor boy too... I have no gift to bring... that’s fit to give our King."

The sense of inadequacy has marked my life from the beginning. I can even remember at age 4 thinking that if I were to meet Jesus, what could I possibly give Him to express my gratitude for all that He has given me. The call is greater than what I feel like I have to offer in return. He always calls us up higher and to something greater than what we can think or imagine.

"Shall I play for you on my drum?"

The Lord doesn’t ask for what we don’t have but asks us to give what we do have. So many times I will wish I was this or that; or wish I had this or that. But what the secret to joy in life is to express our lives through who and what we are. The little drummer boy drums. He doesn’t play the French horn. He expresses freely who he is and the way he was made.

"Mary nodded... The ox and lamb kept time."

As I express who I am, I can influence those around me. The world is crying out for the sons of Glory to be revealed. The lack of rhythm and hope we see in the world, I believe, is because many times, we are not willing to play our own drums. We spend so much time complaining about how we wish we had a different instrument or we simply don't practice the instrument we have.

"I played my drum for Him. I played my best for him."

This is what life is all about. Playing our drums. Playing with all our heart. Living.

"Then He smiled at me... Me and my drum."

The joy in life, which at times seems so elusive, is found in this... He smiled at me.

Grace and Peace,

Wendy

An Example of Kindness

11/17/11

Labels: cleaning, friendship, influence, kindness | 0 comments

"The true character of the loveliness that speaks for God is always unnoticed by the one possessing that quality. Conscious influence is prideful and unchristian. If I wonder if I am being of any use to God, I instantly lose the beauty and the freshness of the touch of the Lord. “He who believes in Me . . . out of his heart will flow rivers of living water” (John 7:38). And if I examine the outflow, I lose the touch of the Lord.
Who are the people who have influenced us most? Certainly not the ones who thought they did, but those who did not have even the slightest idea that they were influencing us. In the Christian life, godly influence is never conscious of itself. If we are conscious of our influence, it ceases to have the genuine loveliness which is characteristic of the touch of Jesus. We always know when Jesus is at work because He produces in the commonplace something that is inspiring."

-Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest August 21^st

There are some people who leave an indelible mark on our lives. Recently, I went visit one of my original Carpe Diem clients who is in a nursing home. This woman was a source of encouragement and hope to me; a reflection of what life can hold after living through many decades. She lived in one of the most beautiful houses that I have ever been in. It is older than Mount Vernon and decorated with such taste that I still dream of a high canopy bed like the one in her guest room.

She gave me the moral support that I needed in a very important time of my life. I was not even in a year into starting my company, Carpe Diem Cleaning, and working hard to figure out my business and this thing called life. She was my every Friday client and my time in her house was for cleaning, but it was also to have a good conversation. I remember she was keeping up with the OJ Simpson trial and one of our first debates was whether humans are basically good or basically sinful.

Every week in those early years ended with hope because I got to spend time with her. She showed me that money was not the answer to life. She had every material dream but she taught me that life is really about the heart. Whether it was the words of encouragement or some extra clothes that she didn’t need any more or a bouquet of roses from her exquisite rose garden, I left her house knowing someone believed in me. Then life happened and it got busy and I wasn't able to personally be there every week. She continued to support us whether it was always keeping Carpe Diem as her cleaning company (even during some of our growing pains) or being a cheerleader for my employees. Kindness was her underlying motivation throughout time.

A few weeks ago, her husband called me to share that her health turned and she was now in a home. He and their daughter have done an incredible job taking care of her and even in this season, their example of faithfulness has been humbling to watch. When I went to visit her, she didn’t fully recognize me and she was very tired. I was not sure what to do, so I went to find someone in the home to ask what was best. A nurse came with me, just to check in, and as we were talking, she shared how sometimes my friend would not remember who the nurse was, but as she tucked her in at night, my friend would say "thank you" and "I love you." I am hoping to go sometime soon when she is having a good day, so I can say "thank you" to her one more time.

One of my observations has been when we get older, whatever filters we developed through adulthood, simply erode. I have known some people whose filters have stopped working and now they are just plain mean. Any façade of kindness no longer exists and what's really inside, comes out. But with my friend, as her filters have faded, only has kindness left. Once again, she has made an impression on me on how to live my life well.

Lord, let my heart be soft towards you so that some day when my filters are gone, people will see a loving person. Thank you A. for being a guidepost for me!

Rosa Parks & Stewardship

10/18/11

Labels: faith, influence, stewardship | 0 comments

“The opposite of a fact is falsehood, but the opposite of one profound truth may very well be another profound truth.”

Niels Bohr

How do we know what is our responsibility versus God’s?

I think we can see a great example of this in the life of Rosa Parks.

Sewing, church, and civil rights meetings. Those were the main activities of Rosa Park’s life. For the first four decades of her life, she modeled stewardship:

Rosa Parks, 1955

Sewing- it was a skill that put food on the table.

Church- spending time with her Lord and community.

Civil Rights- her heart’s desire for justice. Ten years before the infamous bus incident, she was living her life, doing her thing, and in the midst of that, experienced rude and unacceptable behavior of a certain bus driver. In her heart, she made a commitment to never ride his bus again.

Her goal in life was not to be famous but to be faithful. Integrity marked her words and her actions. When they were in the process of figuring out what would be the best method for bringing justice and equality, she wasn’t looking for a fight or to be "the" person in the spotlight. As I listen to her story, I hear the principles that framed her decisions just as the banks of a river will determine its course. She lived the well prepared life of a good steward and look at the outcome.

Many times I worry about am I fulfilling God’s call on my life. Am I living to my full potential? I look around and see so many others “doing” so many great things to impact others, and I compare myself them and look at the drudgery of my stewardship. I am regularly haunted by the thought I may have missed the opportunity God has for me.

But in the example of Rosa Parks I see the grace of the tension of our role and God’s responsibility. We are called to be faithful stewards. Faithful to the talents we have been given. And He is faithful to arrange our circumstances to ignite or not what He wants to accomplish through our lives.

Rosa Parks wasn’t looking to stage an act of disobedience that evening. Even months later, she and the people around her were not even looking to de-segregate the entire bussing system; they just wanted to be allowed to sit in the middle of the bus. But God had so much more for her than she even realized. That fateful night, she was tired from working hard but she was faithful to expanding the picture of what true, healthy, reconciled Christian community could be like. She was also tired of the day-to-day injustice she saw and experienced and then she happened to get on the bus of that rude driver from 10 years ago, who, well…. hadn’t really changed. She stayed true to who she was and God ignited the rest.

A few weeks ago while eating at Ollie’s Noodles in NYC, I read my fortune cookie at the end of dinner. It said "the prepared speaker is the only one who can be confident." My role is to be faithful and to prepare. God’s role is to set up the circumstance of my life so that faithfulness can shine where He sees fits. As a flower blooms wherever it is planted, so must I be faithful whether I bloom in the hidden field for only God’s delight or in the arboretum for everyone to see. Be faithful and steward what He gives you.

Then let Him do the rest.

Blessings,
Wendy

Maturity versus More or Lots of Seed versus a Tree

7/7/11

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This summer I have opened up my home for 4 college girls to stay with me while they complete an internship. The experience has been both a delight and a mirror. In to their conversations, I hear their dreams, ideals, passions, struggles, and their hope to impact the world. They are just beginning their journey and wondering about the next steps still to unfold. Their hearts are still tender- much more tender than I usually see in people my age.

Besides a place to live, fun lessons to learn, and opportunities to be grossed out by whatever my "princess warrior" cat brings in, I have contemplated about the one thing I can impart to them this summer and I've decided that it’s modeling a continued soft, tender heart throughout the journey of life.

I have been able to share with them of dreams that unfolded into nightmares...which then turned into platforms of opportunity. I have shared a commitment to cultivating a tender heart despite many opportunities to choose otherwise throughout my life. I was able to share with them a small group of neighbors- who even with the twists of life- are coming together for community and prayer and to fervently cry out for true change in the foundations of our neighborhood where pain and brokenness runs deep.

Having the students stay with me, reminds me of when I was their age and had my experience with a mission trip in South Africa. During the first course of dinner (calamari!) one night, the husband of our host family shared the unlocking thought that had marked his life. He described how we always think we need to have MORE faith but the Word says we need faith only of a mustard seed. A tiny mustard seed grows and develops into the largest tree in the garden. Instead of asking the Lord for more faith, we need to ask Him to mature our faith.

And as I am attempting to garden, I am captured by what must a seed do... It must surrender to the process of the soil, water, sun, and time. If it hardens, then it can never grow. My prayer is that these girls will see the matured fruit of a "life surrendered" and that will give them the strength when the water comes and the beating heat of the sun, that they will stand in the midst of the process and allow it to grow their mustard seed of faith into a tree.

Blessings,
Wendy

The Influence of Friendship

6/7/11

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"This, then, is how you ought to regard us: as servants of Christ and as those entrusted with the mysteries God has revealed. Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful. I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God."
1 Corinthians 4:1-5

Grace and Peace,

Through a leadership seminar I had the opportunity to hear from Durham’s former Chief-of-Police, Teresa Chambers. Someone there asked her what was it like to be a female in a predominantly male career and she shared how when she first began her career, she received the best advice: Be the best policewoman you can be.

One of the struggles I believe we have in our culture as women is that we define ourselves by male standards and we want to measure the success of our life by what we do. However, I think the Lord wants us to measure our lives by who we are instead. Part of who we are as women is our ability to influence and I believe we are especially called to influence through the gift of friendship.

A summary of the 1828 dictionary definition of influence denotes "power whose operation is invisible and known only by its effects, a power whose cause and operation are unseen, or a moral power of truth operation on the mind, rational faculties or will, in persuading or dissuading, as the influence of motives."

Yet influence is different than power in its expression or outcome. How many times have I compared myself to Billy Graham, yet would I have been satisfied to be the person that shared the Gospel with Billy Graham? Which has done the greater work- Billy Graham or the person who shared with Billy Graham? It’s too easy to misjudge the works of our lives if we judge by what we ourselves accomplish instead of focusing on being who God has fully called us to be. We can trust that as we show up in faithfulness that we will indeed be amazed at the impact of our lives- not by our own works but by the works that others have done in part because of the openness of our own lives.

Additionally we have friendship, which is the foundation of community. No one wants to be thought of as "a project." The need to belong is one of the deepest of human needs and yet is regularly assaulted by injustice. I once had a friend who had lost a baby days before he was due. She shared that in her healing journey of grief, a key moment in that process was when another friend came and wept with her. We need people to weep with us. We need people to laugh with us. We need others to experience life with us to know that we are living and that we will be okay. Many times injustice will wrap walls around us of isolation. And though we may not be able to or called to bring down cultural walls of injustice, we can be a friend to another. It is the gift of friendship that can open doors of healing that go both ways.

Blessings,
Wendy

Real Change: Hope Through Prayer

5/16/11

Labels: Durham, hope, prayer | 0 comments

In my community, there's been seasons where some of the neighborhood children have enjoyed playing in my yard. One summer I asked one of the little girls, who was 9 at the time, about her dream for when she grows up. Her upbeat, immediate response was “I want to be a prostitute!”.  

I hate pain, and I hate the hopelessness that had already engulfed this little girl and her future at such a young age.   I hate passing by the homeless person pleading for money or the street woman begging for a john. I am so sad from hearing story after story of broken dreams and broken marriages- stories of defeat. My own heart cries out in despair for these souls- there has got to be more!

Proverbs 13:12 states that "a hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life". "Hope deferred" is the deep and pervasive ailment in our community. Hope deferred-turned to hopelessness- churns throughout our society like the unending crash of ocean waves constantly hitting the shore. Despite giving away all the food, clothing, and X-Boxes we could ever imagine to those in "need" , if we don’t address the core issue- hope deferred- we won’t see lasting change.  

Have you ever pondered what makes Christians different than the world? God’s principles work for everyone who chooses to live by them- both those who believe in Him as well as those who don't. What then would distinguish Christians, or those who have Christ dwelling in their hearts?  The difference is His presence. True hope can only come from Him and it is the knowledge of His presence that gives meaning to life itself.  Knowing His presence and wanting to see restored hope throughout my community is why I have chosen to invest my time, talent and treasure into PrayDurham, which is an initiative to see every street in Durham covered in prayer by believers.

Some may remember the old hymn:  Turn your eyes upon Jesus Look full in his wonderful face, And the things of earth will grow strangely dim In the light of his glory and grace."  My neighbors need to know God's love and hope. They need to know that God wants to bless us.  We, too, with both our prayers and action, get to take part in blessing our neighbors. Sometimes it is as simple as praying "Lord, bless them."  God himself gives us wisdom in how to bless others.

Once I asked the Lord how I could justify "blessing" the neighbors of my former office building, a men's club. I then understood the Lord speaking to my thoughts, "Wendy, you do not understand my love. I discipline those I love. That club needs more of Me, not less."  Throughout the Bible and still today, God answers prayer. What would it look like if every person in Durham was prayed for? What would it look like if every person was pastored (cared for and encouraged in their spiritual growth) regardless of whether they attended a local congregation? What would it look like if "hope deferred" became real hope...fulfilled? I want to know.  

We have many good programs and ministries that are meeting needs and important to support. The Lord, however, is able to do so much more than we can in our own efforts, and mysteriously he invites us to become a part of his work through prayer. Durham is a city full of great people and ideas with lots of innovation- how much more glorious will it be when the Lord heals hope in our community? I look forward to that day!

Do you know what you do not know?

4/4/11

Labels: cleaning, knowledge | 0 comments

Grace and Peace Friend,

Have you ever though about what you do not know? Keeping a clean house for myself was never a priority in my life until I met a woman named Fannie. I’ve scrubbed countless toilets, and up until meeting Fannie, there was not much that could phase me from a dirt perspective.

However, Fannie was referred to me as a client and as I began services for her home, I was shocked to discover how filthy her home would become after just two weeks! Compared to my other clients, I could not figure out how one small family could create such a combination of clutter and dirt in just a short amount of time!

After several months of service (with the home back to its filthy state every other week when I arrived), Fannie requested that I do a one-time cleaning of her mother’s home four hours away, where her sister had been living. While normally I tried to keep my service area local, I decided to make an exception for this recurring client (and frankly this was the stage in the business where I would do just about anything to get the revenue up!) So two Saturdays from then, I recruited a friend and we embarked on our roadtrip to go a’ scrubbin’.

We arrived to discover that Fannie’s mother’s house where her sister had been living was filthy beyond what I could have ever imagined! Neither a vacuum nor a single cleaning product had touched any surface in this house…possibly ever. Decades of smoke, grease, and dirt layered in the kitchen. Apparently at one point there had been raccoons that had come through the attic and, as we later learned, had been retained as pets by the sister in one of the bathrooms. Yet another room we were unable to touch at all because it (the room, that is) was used as the cat’s permanent litter box.

As I spent my day in that house of my client’s mother and sister, chiseling and scrubbing as I could, I realized something: My client, Fannie, whose house was by far the dirtiest house on an every other week basis out of all of my clients, actually had a well-kept, sanitary home in comparison to what she had likely experienced as a child. Fannie knew that her home was cleaner than what she had grown up with, yet she was clueless that still most homes were kept much cleaner than her own. Fannie did not know what she did not know.

This “Fannie” experience helped me begin to think that surely I must also have blind spots in my own life- that just as Fannie has set her life course based on the standard she had known without realization of a different norm- that there could be areas in my life where I did not know what I did not know.

We all set the course of our lives based on our other experiences. Fannie was doing amazingly well compared to how she had grown up but I don’t think she understood that there is a completely different way to live (that did not involve a filthy house!). So many times we live life completely out of our experience. I began asking the Lord to please show me what areas of my life I live like Fannie! I slowly began to see how I had let the things I knew from my experiences influence my thought processes, communication, and the way I related to people, money and food.

The greater challenge to myself was to begin examining my own “glasses” of experience to be able to differentiate between what I see through those glasses and what is truly there. When we set out on what we believe is a true and right, do we know that we are seeing truth, or is it only just a slightly better version compared to our own experiences that looks like truth to us?

In unlocking “the creative” in our lives, the first step is to learn to check our blind spots so that we can orient our own perspective. This is an ongoing life journey- to discover the things we do not know. How does one even begin? Start with cultivating curiosity.

Blessings,

Wendy

PS- Fannie later stopped services for unknown reasons and I didn’t hear from her. Several years later, my sister, Jessica, returned to the office from a Carpe Diem Cleaning consultation, and proclaimed, “I just did an estimate for every two week services for a client whose home is the worst possible home we could possibly have ever taken on! I even stepped in dried dog poop in the living room during the consultation!” She didn’t tell me the name of our new client, but I secretly thought that this new home was probably close to what Fannie’s had been like. Well, a few weeks later, I was reviewing the list of new clients, and guess who had returned? :-)

Unfolding the Kingdom in Durham

3/9/11

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Grace and Peace Friends,

The Butterfly Unfolds

God is moving in Durham! Have you ever watched a butterfly unfold its way out of a chrysalis? This is what I see happening all over Durham: God’s Kingdom unfolding and spreading its wings all over our city. I see believers connecting with each other and finding that they share a common vision for becoming the Body of Jesus. I see ministries partnering together to accomplish what no one group could accomplish alone.

For instance, John Blake, Durham’s CEF (Child Evangelism Fellowship) executive director, hosts a quarterly gathering of individuals, ministries and non-profits all of whom have a passion to serve Durham’s under-resourced communities. However, they have not walked together to combine their efforts until this point. Now there is a more coordinated effort to bring real change in the lives of people in these communities.

World Relief is an international faith-based non-profit who helps refugees resettle from oppressed regions around the world. The Durham office has helped resettle 200 refugees in Durham last year alone. Jesus’ Body in Durham has been His hands and feet for people who have never heard the Gospel, but now live within a 5-mile radius of our homes.

There are many unsung heroes just like this in our community who are advancing God’s Kingdom in all aspects of our city. They are praying for and serving in our schools and are seeing real change. They are praying for their neighbors. They are organizing people to serve in many projects throughout the city. They are brining God into our city and He is making the difference!

From my place in the city, I have been hearing stories like these for several years now, and my passion is to be a cheerleader for all the unique, down right cool and creative ways that believers are bringing God’ glory to our city. God is moving in Durham! It’s wonderful to watch it unfold!

Blessings,
Wendy

Unlocking the Creative