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    1/18/12

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     Many years ago, I read a book about simplicity in my quest to find out what faithful stewardship looks like. As a side note, I think that most people only have one main point of a specific belief/idea but they need to write 150-300 pages to create the perception of importance of what they are saying and so that people will be wooed to engage the conversation through their book. Many times, our lives really have only one major theme and we spend our time unlocking that in a variety of ways. But it can still all be summed up in one major life theme.

    So, back to the book about simplicity; the main point is we need to guard our lives and hearts from materialism as it impacts, on many levels, our ability to steward. Their suggestion was that every year, we should find one thing of value in our home and give it away. As I thought through my house, most everything I had, was given/ bought cheaply/or donated to me. The execution of this specific principle in my life, was not going to impact the tenderness of my heart as it was laid out in the book.

    I began asking the Lord,  "What specifically do you want from me in this context to keep my heart soft and not get swept away, even inadvertently, into the mind-set of materialism?" Within a few days, the thought that became clear was I needed to remove the tv from my living room where I spent time with people, to upstairs where it wasn’t so convenient. What was fascinating to me, was what that did for my home.

    My house was built in 1939 which was before the tv had been invented. In my living room, I have a beautiful wood burning stove that was the center focal point of that room. When I removed the television from that room, peace immediately filled it. What had been happening was the tv and stove were competing for the central focal point in the room; that place where our eyes naturally rest. By removing the tv out of the room, the room came into alignment. So much so, even the other day when a friend came into my house, she asked if I had my home professionally designed?!

    The other thing I think about with principles like this, is do I need to do that (give one item of value away) every single year or do I keep that principle/idea in the context of my decision making process and let it arise when the test needs to arise?

    In 2009, I ended up going through one of the most difficult financial times of my life. It was through the series of choices made by another individual that created extreme financial challenges that I was not sure how I was going to navigate successfully. Before those events happened, I had already committed in my heart to buy a reasonably-priced, used car for a family in the community that I was supporting because I knew that having a car and dependable transportation is a key to breaking free from poverty. They had cleared up their own technical issues related to their driver’s license (which had kept them from driving for 13 years) and they were in a place to start driving their kids to school every day (which I had been doing for them).

    But then, my car died. And the cost of repair was more than car itself was worth. I did need a car to make my own life work but I had not saved up what I would need to buy myself a used car as well as purchase one for the other family.

    In this decision making process, the principle of simplicity began to weigh in: having my own car, is a privilege and not a right. The truth of the matter was that the majority of my life happens in a 3 miles radius and the family I care for was living next door so with a little communication, we could coordinate our lives so we could share a car and meet all of our goals.

    For the next 6 months,  I shared a car with this family until I saved enough to buy my own. People interpreted my gesture as being so kind and generous but the truth was, I did what I did because I make choices based on my life principles. If I am committed to keeping a soft heart that is free from issues such as materialism, then that was the choice that I needed to make in that season. It wasn’t easy to share a car on many levels, but I needed to do it for me to continue to guard my heart. It was more important for me to keep my heart soft before the Lord then it was to have my own car for a season.

    So, what is it that the Lord has asked from YOU to help guard your heart from materialism?

    Squash-Watermelon

    1/9/12

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    A skill set that I have cultivated over the years has been the ability to appreciate the value of something even if I do not have a natural affinity for it. This sums up my thoughts about gardening. As my sister says, I love the idea of a garden but I am not interested in doing the actually gardening. 

    However, I do believe in the value of gardening on many levels. As I look at the food we consume in American culture and the processes it goes through to get to our tables, I know that it does not have the nutritional value it should have. Also growing your own food is a way of living that will help save money in the long run. It’s an ideal principle of stewardship. 

    I decided this past year to tackle my half acre in hopes of making it into a permaculture yard that would grow the food I need. Why? To sustain myself for the long term no matter the state of the economy. To model stewardship. To become an asset to my neighbors. To be an example for the body of Christ in regards to all of the above.

    In addition to working on an overall plan for the yard, I chose to do some experimentation. I've come to realize that there are some aspects of a project like this that I might be more gifted at than another. And maybe I was remembering the year that I mis-read the seed label and planted tomatoes 2 inches apart versus the 2 feet apart and the many moments of laughter that resulted from my mistake. 

    Last Spring I went to the Farmer’s Market and purchased ONE plant from many different types of vegetables to see which one did best in my yard. I had one eggplant, one cucumber, one acorn squash, one butternut squash, one yellow squash, one cantaloupe and one watermelon plant. So, I planted each of them and waited to see what would happen.

    Well the cucumber and eggplant did really well. The squash unfortunately lost the fight with the beetles who enjoyed them greatly. The cantaloupe and watermelon didn’t do anything. So once my cucumber harvest finally slowed down, I forgot about them and went on to other things.
    One day in September, I was walking through my yard and low and behold there were watermelon growing! I was excited beyond belief. I took a picture and posted it to facebook and got more likes and comments than any other posting. Go figure!!! 

    My sister, Jessica, decided to tease me and asked would I even remember to harvest it?! I did wait a number of days but in the spirit of not wanting to see it rot, I picked it. That evening I cut it open, and it was... white! Not red, but white on the inside! 

    My mom was there at the time and we each tried a piece. It tasted okay although slightly odd and why was it white? I thought well, maybe I harvested it too early. I shared that thought with someone and they said for a watermelon to be ripe, when you knock it, it should sound hollow. I waited for the next watermelon to grow and when I knocked, it sounded hollow. Ok, time to harvest and see what happens.

    I brought this one to my sister, Heidi, with the caveat of the previous story and asked her to try it. She called me the next morning, "Wendy, the watermelon is white like the last one. It does have a watermelon texture but it sort of tastes like... squash." Her 6 year old asked to try it and after one bite said "I don’t think I like this, mom." To the deer out back the watermelon got donated. 

    In trying to figure out what went wrong, Arielle who works with me, suggested, “It probably cross-pollinated with the squash. Growing up we would always put the watermelon and cantaloupe in one garden and the squashes in another so they wouldn't cross pollinate each other."

    So, even though it looked like an award winning, sweet, delicious watermelon on the outside, the truth of the matter was the insides were not what they needed to be. Why? It was located too close to the squash in the garden. 

    It was such a powerful lesson to me: squash and watermelon are both great plants and should both be a part of a garden. But aside from just being in the garden, another key element is that to produce the fruit they are designed to produce, they need to be in right alignment within the garden. 

    Who we become will reflect not only the essence of the seeds we plant in our lives but the essence of the seeds flourishing in the lives closest to us. It’s not about right and wrong plants, but about proper alignment. 

    Grace and peace,
    Wendy


    P.S. I picked the third watermelon to get a picture for you. But alas as I opened it up, it was pink. Go figure. LOL!

    The Little Drummer Boy

    12/5/11

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    I have some songs that I will regularly listen to, that bring comfort to my soul, no matter what the season. If I had to say there is a theme song for my life, it would be the "Little Drummer Boy." As much as I would like to say it’s the rhythm of the "pa-rum-pa-pum-pum" that I love; the words to the song are really the essence of what I want my life to be known for. (Please remind my family to sing this at my funeral!!!)

    "Come they told me... A new born king to see..."
    The invitation. I did not initiate a relationship with the Lord; He called me to Himself. The grace in my life has been defined by walking towards that call. I heard "come" and I am no longer living my life by my own agenda. It can make things a bit uncomfortable at times but I would rather trust His wisdom than mine. 

    "Our finest gifts to bring... to lay before the King... so to honor Him... when we come."
    If I had to sum up what I want my life to be counted for, I want to be able to look back on the time I have had on earth and be able to present it to the Lord as well stewarded. This line of the song expresses what the goal of all that we do really could and should be: to honor someone greater than ourselves.

    "Little Baby... I am a poor boy too... I have no gift to bring... that’s fit to give our King."
    The sense of inadequacy has marked my life from the beginning. I can even remember at age 4 thinking that if I were to meet Jesus, what could I possibly give Him to express my gratitude for all that He has given me.  The call is greater than what I feel like I have to offer in return. He always calls us up higher and to something greater than what we can think or imagine. 

    "Shall I play for you on my drum?"
    The Lord doesn’t ask for what we don’t have but asks us to give what we do have. So many times I will wish I was this or that; or wish I had this or that. But what the secret to joy in life is to express our lives through who and what we are. The little drummer boy drums. He doesn’t play the French horn. He expresses freely who he is and the way he was made.

    "Mary nodded... The ox and lamb kept time."
    As I express who I am, I can influence those around me. The world is crying out for the sons of Glory to be revealed. The lack of rhythm and hope we see in the world, I believe, is because many times, we are not willing to play our own drums. We spend so much time complaining about how we wish we had a different instrument or we simply don't practice the instrument we have. 

    "I played my drum for Him. I played my best for him."
    This is what life is all about. Playing our drums. Playing with all our heart. Living.

    "Then He smiled at me... Me and my drum."
    The joy in life, which at times seems so elusive, is found in this... He smiled at me. 

    Grace and Peace,
    Wendy

    An Example of Kindness

    11/17/11

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    "The true character of the loveliness that speaks for God is always unnoticed by the one possessing that quality. Conscious influence is prideful and unchristian. If I wonder if I am being of any use to God, I instantly lose the beauty and the freshness of the touch of the Lord. “He who believes in Me . . . out of his heart will flow rivers of living water” (John 7:38).  And if I examine the outflow, I lose the touch of the Lord. 
    Who are the people who have influenced us most? Certainly not the ones who thought they did, but those who did not have even the slightest idea that they were influencing us. In the Christian life, godly influence is never conscious of itself. If we are conscious of our influence, it ceases to have the genuine loveliness which is characteristic of the touch of Jesus. We always know when Jesus is at work because He produces in the commonplace something that is inspiring."
    -Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest August 21st 


    There are some people who leave an indelible mark on our lives. Recently, I went visit one of my original Carpe Diem clients who is in a nursing home.  This woman was a source of encouragement and hope to me; a reflection of what life can hold after living through many decades. She lived in one of the most beautiful houses that I have ever been in. It is older than Mount Vernon and decorated with such taste that I still dream of a high canopy bed like the one in her guest room. 

    She gave me the moral support that I needed in a very important time of my life. I was not even in a year into starting my company, Carpe Diem Cleaning, and working hard to figure out my business and this thing called life. She was my every Friday client and my time in her house was for cleaning, but it was also to have a good conversation. I remember she was keeping up with the OJ Simpson trial and one of our first debates was whether humans are basically good or basically sinful. 

    Every week in those early years ended with hope because I got to spend time with her. She showed me that money was not the answer to life. She had every material dream but she taught me that life is really about the heart. Whether it was the words of encouragement or some extra clothes that she didn’t need any more or a bouquet of roses from her exquisite rose garden, I left her house knowing someone believed in me. Then life happened and it got busy and I wasn't able to personally be there every week. She continued to support us whether it was always keeping Carpe Diem as her cleaning company (even during some of our growing pains) or being a cheerleader for my employees. Kindness was her underlying motivation throughout time. 

    A few weeks ago, her husband called me to share that her health turned and she was now in a home. He and their daughter have done an incredible job taking care of her and even in this season, their example of faithfulness has been humbling to watch. When I went to visit her, she didn’t fully recognize me and she was very tired. I was not sure what to do, so I went to find someone in the home to ask what was best. A nurse came with me, just to check in, and as we were talking, she shared how sometimes my friend would not remember who the nurse was, but as she tucked her in at night, my friend would say "thank you" and "I love you." I am hoping to go sometime soon when she is having a good day, so I can say "thank you" to her one more time. 

    One of my observations has been when we get older, whatever filters we developed through adulthood, simply erode.  I have known some people whose filters have stopped working and now they are just plain mean. Any façade of kindness no longer exists and what's really inside, comes out. But with my friend, as her filters have faded, only has kindness left. Once again, she has made an impression on me on how to live my life well.

    Lord, let my heart be soft towards you so that some day when my filters are gone, people will see a loving person.  Thank you A. for being a guidepost for me!

    Rosa Parks & Stewardship

    10/18/11

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    “The opposite of a fact is falsehood, but the opposite of one profound truth may very well be another profound truth.”
    Niels Bohr

    How do we know what is our responsibility versus God’s? 
    I think we can see a great example of this in the life of Rosa Parks.

    Sewing, church, and civil rights meetings. Those were the main activities of Rosa Park’s life. For the first four decades of her life, she modeled stewardship: 

    Rosa Parks, 1955
    Sewing- it was a skill that put food on the table.

    Church- spending time with her Lord and community.

    Civil Rights- her heart’s desire for justice. Ten years before the infamous bus incident, she was living her life, doing her thing, and in the midst of that, experienced rude and unacceptable behavior of a certain bus driver. In her heart, she made a commitment to never ride his bus again.

    Her goal in life was not to be famous but to be faithful. Integrity marked her words and her actions. When they were in the process of figuring out what would be the best method for bringing justice and equality, she wasn’t looking for a fight or to be "the" person in the spotlight. As I listen to her story, I hear the principles that framed her decisions just as the banks of a river will determine its course. She lived the well prepared life of a good steward and look at the outcome.

    Many times I worry about am I fulfilling God’s call on my life. Am I living to my full potential? I look around and see so many others “doing” so many great things to impact others, and I compare myself them and look at the drudgery of my stewardship. I am regularly haunted by the thought I may have missed the opportunity God has for me. 

    But in the example of Rosa Parks I see the grace of the tension of our role and God’s responsibility. We are called to be faithful stewards. Faithful to the talents we have been given. And He is faithful to arrange our circumstances to ignite or not what He wants to accomplish through our lives. 

    Rosa Parks wasn’t looking to stage an act of disobedience that evening. Even months later, she and the people around her were not even looking to de-segregate the entire bussing system; they just wanted to be allowed to sit in the middle of the bus. But God had so much more for her than she even realized. That fateful night, she was tired from working hard but she was faithful to expanding the picture of what true, healthy, reconciled Christian community could be like. She was also tired of the day-to-day injustice she saw and experienced and then she happened to get on the bus of that rude driver from 10 years ago, who, well…. hadn’t really changed. She stayed true to who she was and God ignited the rest. 

    A few weeks ago while eating at Ollie’s  Noodles in NYC, I read my fortune cookie at the end of dinner. It said "the prepared speaker is the only one who can be confident." My role is to be faithful and to prepare. God’s role is to set up the circumstance of my life so that faithfulness can shine where He sees fits. As a flower blooms wherever it is planted, so must I be faithful whether I bloom in the hidden field for only God’s delight or in the arboretum for everyone to see.  Be faithful and steward what He gives you. 
    Then let Him do the rest.


    Blessings,
    Wendy

    Maturity versus More or Lots of Seed versus a Tree

    7/7/11

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    This summer I have opened up my home for 4 college girls to stay with me while they complete an internship.  The experience has been both a delight and a mirror. In to their conversations, I hear their dreams, ideals, passions, struggles, and their hope to impact the world. They are just beginning their journey and wondering about the next steps still to unfold. Their hearts are still tender- much more tender than I usually see in people my age.

    Besides a place to live, fun lessons to learn, and opportunities to be grossed out by whatever my "princess warrior" cat brings in, I have contemplated about the one thing I can impart to them this summer and I've decided that it’s modeling a continued soft, tender heart throughout the journey of life.

    I have been able to share with them of dreams that unfolded into nightmares...which then turned into platforms of opportunity. I have shared a commitment to cultivating a tender heart despite many opportunities to choose otherwise throughout my life. I was able to share with them a small group of neighbors- who even with the twists of life- are coming together for community and prayer and to fervently cry out for true change in the foundations of our neighborhood where pain and brokenness runs deep.

    Having the students stay with me, reminds me of when I was their age and had my experience with a mission trip in South Africa.  During the first course of dinner (calamari!) one night, the husband of our host family shared the unlocking thought that had marked his life. He described how we always think we need to have MORE faith but the Word says we need faith only of a mustard seed. A tiny mustard seed grows and develops into the largest tree in the garden. Instead of asking the Lord for more faith, we need to ask Him to mature our faith. 

    And as I am attempting to garden, I am captured by what must a seed do... It must surrender to the process of the soil, water, sun, and time. If it hardens, then it can never grow. My prayer is that these girls will see the matured fruit of a "life surrendered" and that will give them the strength when the water comes and the beating heat of the sun, that they will stand in the midst of the process and allow it to grow their mustard seed of faith into a tree.

    Blessings,
    Wendy

    The Influence of Friendship

    6/7/11

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    "This, then, is how you ought to regard us: as servants of Christ and as those entrusted with the mysteries God has revealed.  Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful.  I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself.  My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God." 
    1 Corinthians 4:1-5

    Grace and Peace,

    Through a leadership seminar I had the opportunity to hear from Durham’s former Chief-of-Police, Teresa Chambers.  Someone there asked her what was it like to be a female in a predominantly male career and she shared how when she first began her career, she received the best advice: Be the best policewoman you can be.

    One of the struggles I believe we have in our culture as women is that we define ourselves by male standards and we want to measure the success of our life by what we do. However, I think the Lord wants us to measure our lives by who we are instead.  Part of who we are as women is our ability to influence and I believe we are especially called to influence through the gift of friendship.

    A summary of the 1828 dictionary definition of influence denotes "power whose operation is invisible and known only by its effects, a power whose cause and operation are unseen, or a moral power of truth operation on the mind, rational faculties or will, in persuading or dissuading, as the influence of motives." 

    Yet influence is different than power in its expression or outcome. How many times have I compared myself to Billy Graham, yet would I have been satisfied to be the person that shared the Gospel with Billy Graham? Which has done the greater work- Billy Graham or the person who shared with Billy Graham? It’s too easy to misjudge the works of our lives if we judge by what we ourselves accomplish instead of focusing on being who God has fully called us to be.  We can trust that as we show up in faithfulness that we will indeed be amazed at the impact of our lives- not by our own works but by the works that others have done in part because of the openness of our own lives.

    Additionally we have friendship, which is the foundation of community. No one wants to be thought of as "a project."  The need to belong is one of the deepest of human needs and yet is regularly assaulted by injustice.  I once had a friend who had lost a baby days before he was due. She shared that in her healing journey of grief, a key moment in that process was when another friend came and wept with her. We need people to weep with us. We need people to laugh with us. We need others to experience life with us to know that we are living and that we will be okay.  Many times injustice will wrap walls around us of isolation. And though we may not be able to or called to bring down cultural walls of injustice, we can be a friend to another. It is the gift of friendship that can open doors of healing that go both ways.

    Blessings,
    Wendy