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    3/13/12

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    Grace and Peace Friends,

    The other day a friend and I were catching up. She was casually talking about an organization she was associated with and stated that the leader was incredibly talented, but had low capacity. She also mentioned that others see the high talent and mistake it for capacity. What's the difference? Talent is the shining star who takes center stage and receives all the accolades while capacity is the ability to visualize and build the stage. Capacity means creatively manage resources for the betterment of the whole and stewarding the talent of the people around them. While talent allows us to rise to the top faster, capacity allows us to stay there once we arrive.

    As she spoke, it totally rang true for me. I thought through several situations that I have been in and I realized how often I have mistaken talent for capacity and the truth is they are two very different things. Although this conversation was several weeks ago, sometimes there are thoughts that need to simmer and then they unlock clarity unlike any other thoughts. This was one of them.

    First- I realized I am a low talent type of gal but have developed a good foundation for capacity. When I have said that to a few friends they want to console me with "That’s not true!" However, I actually take comfort in it. Growing up, I wasn’t the smartest, the fastest, the prettiest, the most musical, or the most artistic.It’s been a struggle to rationalize my life’s calling (even to myself!) as it wasn’t as immediately obvious as it might be for those who have more visible talent.

    But I think I do have three subtle talents that have helped cultivate capacity. The first one is that I am teachable. I am always willing to learn and hence always willing to change. Being willing to change allows me to discover the lies that I believe about myself and the world around me. Our willingness to discover and deal with the lies we believe, are a key limit or boundary to our ability to cultivate capacity.

    Secondly- I have a gift of friendship. Loneliness and pain were my companions growing up but at key times in my childhood, there were a few people that looked past my circumstances and gave me the gift of friendship. It was that friendship that created a bridge to me continuing to have hope. Because I was so grateful to them, all I could do was commit to developing that gift of friendship and sharing it with others along life’s way. Even as I am writing this, I truly believe that friendship has probably brought more healing and hope to my life (and in the lives of those around me) than any therapy/ministry I can think of.

    Thirdly- I have the gifting of being persistent or as some others may call it, stubbornness. Whether it is Winston Churchill or Joyce Meyers - a key value I have gleaned from their lives is that the choice is available to whosoever will to never, never, NEVER give up.

     I think having this persistence, and it being linked to teachability and friendship, has really been a secret to success for my life as well as great ingredients for creating capacity.

    As I looked up in the 1828 Dictionary talent and capacity, I gained new clarity that I wasn’t expecting. To summarize- capacity is a passive power; it’s the ability to receive. Talent, however, is an active power; it’s the ability to give.
    One of my various “random thoughts”  has been that life is truly about giving and receiving. Often times the Enemy will twist or damage some aspect of giving and receiving for us and that in turn is what causes damage in our relationships with both God and man.

    Our physical heart is a great picture of what healthy giving and receiving looks like. The heart has two receiving valves and two giving valves. One set receives oxygenated blood from the lungs and the other gives/releases the oxygenated blood into your body. In a similar way, we need to have healthy giving and receiving valves with people as well as unblocked giving and receiving valves with the Lord. Often, you can see in people's lives where the breakdown of relationships has damaged or blocked one or more valves in their lives and it just causes them continued pain.

    Part of my life journey has been the Lord healing and unblocking those receiving valves in my life that were so damaged. But most of the time, I associate receiving with an entitlement mentality. But the reality is that healthy receiving IS a part of capacity. I read a book about healthy giving and in their last point, they asked you to try and only exhale and not breath in. Their point is that we have to breath in AND out or we will only live for a few moments. Part of healthy giving, truly is healthy receiving.

    So, Wendy Clark- what’s the difference between entitlement and healthy receiving? At this point (and I reserve the right to add to or change this thought) it is how you steward what you receive. I ask myself: is what I receive for my own consumption only or is it for what our Lord might desire? The weight of that call to stewardship is what keeps me on my knees.

    Cultivating my talent is what builds up healthy giving valves. Cultivating capacity, builds up my receiving valves. We need to cultivate both.

    Wendy

    Opportunity Cost

    2/21/12

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    I think a lot about stewardship. In many ways, it’s easier to be poor. There are limited choices that you can make with your resources. As you grow in resources of time, talent and treasure; the amount of opportunities and choices exponentially increase. 

    When I went to UNC for a semester, I took an economics class. One of the principles I am still remembering almost 20 years later is that of opportunity cost. This is the hidden, difficult to assign a metric or value to, reality that no one talks about - the cost of the choice that you make vs the choice you didn't make. If you choose to go to this university, then you have not chosen to go to hundreds of other schools. The job you chose dictates where you live and where you spend your time versus taking a another job which might have led to a totally different living situation. Opportunity cost is neither inherently good or bad, it simple is what it is.

    But when I think through stewardship, opportunity cost is a significant aspect of my thought processes. Life is the sum of the things we have made priorities as a result of our choices. How do we prioritize and weigh the value of at least two competing choices that are often screaming at us? Part of wisdom is the ability to discern and then make the choice today that we will be glad we made tomorrow. How do we cultivate wisdom? I believe having an appreciation and awareness of opportunity cost while we are thinking through our options is one of the keys. 

    We speak a lot about needing a financial budget, however, I once heard was that we should also have a time and an emotional energy budget, as they are finite resources that we have to steward carefully. It is in those two budgets that I most carefully think through opportunity cost. 

    One way I do this is I try to think through the tasks that I must accomplish during the day and assign a monetary value or cost to them to clarify their priority in my day. Washing the dishes: that costs around $10/hour. Entering in bookkeeping data: well, that can cost $25/hour. As I think through the what I need to do, I begin to ask myself: what is the cost of me doing all of these things and not doing other things? What I can delegate and consolidate so I can spend that time on what only I need to do - that which I am called and specifically gifted to do? 


    If I had to say what my two unique gifts I bring to the world were, it would be the gift of friendship and the ability to think/problem solve. As I plan my time, emotional energy, and even my money, I place emphasis on these two priorities in my life. This means my dishes don’t always get done. But sometimes they need to get done so I can  have a place for people to come and visit me and feel comfortable. This means I may need to employ a creative solution as to how to get those dishes done. Maybe it means I don't always buy the newest clothes when I want them but instead I provide a job for someone who needs it, get those dishes done, and have the time I need to think/problem solve and invest in relationships.

    Weighing opportunity cost many times unlocks the clarity of thought I need to find the solution to prioritizing my life so I can achieve the goals that are in my heart. My deep desire is to live as purposely as I can and not end up at "Oops."

    As I thought through why I started this particular blog, it is because these are some of the fundamental aspects of how I think. When you look at my life and my choices, underneath them, most of the time, has been some aspect of this thought process because one of my main beliefs is that we will be accountable for how we steward the number of talents we have been given. So, I often ponder the parable of the talents. They each got a different amount of talents. But the bottom line wasn’t how many talents they had but the attitude of faithfulness towards them. Many times I want to lament about not feeling like I am a 5 talent gal but then I have to shift gears and think about how I am being faithful with what I have been given?

    He is not asking me to be what I am not. He is not asking me to do what I cannot. He is asking me to count the cost and be faithful with what I have been given.

    Grace and peace,
    Wendy

    The Simplicity Question

    1/18/12

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     Many years ago, I read a book about simplicity in my quest to find out what faithful stewardship looks like. As a side note, I think that most people only have one main point of a specific belief/idea but they need to write 150-300 pages to create the perception of importance of what they are saying and so that people will be wooed to engage the conversation through their book. Many times, our lives really have only one major theme and we spend our time unlocking that in a variety of ways. But it can still all be summed up in one major life theme.

    So, back to the book about simplicity; the main point is we need to guard our lives and hearts from materialism as it impacts, on many levels, our ability to steward. Their suggestion was that every year, we should find one thing of value in our home and give it away. As I thought through my house, most everything I had, was given/ bought cheaply/or donated to me. The execution of this specific principle in my life, was not going to impact the tenderness of my heart as it was laid out in the book.

    I began asking the Lord,  "What specifically do you want from me in this context to keep my heart soft and not get swept away, even inadvertently, into the mind-set of materialism?" Within a few days, the thought that became clear was I needed to remove the tv from my living room where I spent time with people, to upstairs where it wasn’t so convenient. What was fascinating to me, was what that did for my home.

    My house was built in 1939 which was before the tv had been invented. In my living room, I have a beautiful wood burning stove that was the center focal point of that room. When I removed the television from that room, peace immediately filled it. What had been happening was the tv and stove were competing for the central focal point in the room; that place where our eyes naturally rest. By removing the tv out of the room, the room came into alignment. So much so, even the other day when a friend came into my house, she asked if I had my home professionally designed?!

    The other thing I think about with principles like this, is do I need to do that (give one item of value away) every single year or do I keep that principle/idea in the context of my decision making process and let it arise when the test needs to arise?

    In 2009, I ended up going through one of the most difficult financial times of my life. It was through the series of choices made by another individual that created extreme financial challenges that I was not sure how I was going to navigate successfully. Before those events happened, I had already committed in my heart to buy a reasonably-priced, used car for a family in the community that I was supporting because I knew that having a car and dependable transportation is a key to breaking free from poverty. They had cleared up their own technical issues related to their driver’s license (which had kept them from driving for 13 years) and they were in a place to start driving their kids to school every day (which I had been doing for them).

    But then, my car died. And the cost of repair was more than car itself was worth. I did need a car to make my own life work but I had not saved up what I would need to buy myself a used car as well as purchase one for the other family.

    In this decision making process, the principle of simplicity began to weigh in: having my own car, is a privilege and not a right. The truth of the matter was that the majority of my life happens in a 3 miles radius and the family I care for was living next door so with a little communication, we could coordinate our lives so we could share a car and meet all of our goals.

    For the next 6 months,  I shared a car with this family until I saved enough to buy my own. People interpreted my gesture as being so kind and generous but the truth was, I did what I did because I make choices based on my life principles. If I am committed to keeping a soft heart that is free from issues such as materialism, then that was the choice that I needed to make in that season. It wasn’t easy to share a car on many levels, but I needed to do it for me to continue to guard my heart. It was more important for me to keep my heart soft before the Lord then it was to have my own car for a season.

    So, what is it that the Lord has asked from YOU to help guard your heart from materialism?

    Squash-Watermelon

    1/9/12

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    A skill set that I have cultivated over the years has been the ability to appreciate the value of something even if I do not have a natural affinity for it. This sums up my thoughts about gardening. As my sister says, I love the idea of a garden but I am not interested in doing the actually gardening. 

    However, I do believe in the value of gardening on many levels. As I look at the food we consume in American culture and the processes it goes through to get to our tables, I know that it does not have the nutritional value it should have. Also growing your own food is a way of living that will help save money in the long run. It’s an ideal principle of stewardship. 

    I decided this past year to tackle my half acre in hopes of making it into a permaculture yard that would grow the food I need. Why? To sustain myself for the long term no matter the state of the economy. To model stewardship. To become an asset to my neighbors. To be an example for the body of Christ in regards to all of the above.

    In addition to working on an overall plan for the yard, I chose to do some experimentation. I've come to realize that there are some aspects of a project like this that I might be more gifted at than another. And maybe I was remembering the year that I mis-read the seed label and planted tomatoes 2 inches apart versus the 2 feet apart and the many moments of laughter that resulted from my mistake. 

    Last Spring I went to the Farmer’s Market and purchased ONE plant from many different types of vegetables to see which one did best in my yard. I had one eggplant, one cucumber, one acorn squash, one butternut squash, one yellow squash, one cantaloupe and one watermelon plant. So, I planted each of them and waited to see what would happen.

    Well the cucumber and eggplant did really well. The squash unfortunately lost the fight with the beetles who enjoyed them greatly. The cantaloupe and watermelon didn’t do anything. So once my cucumber harvest finally slowed down, I forgot about them and went on to other things.
    One day in September, I was walking through my yard and low and behold there were watermelon growing! I was excited beyond belief. I took a picture and posted it to facebook and got more likes and comments than any other posting. Go figure!!! 

    My sister, Jessica, decided to tease me and asked would I even remember to harvest it?! I did wait a number of days but in the spirit of not wanting to see it rot, I picked it. That evening I cut it open, and it was... white! Not red, but white on the inside! 

    My mom was there at the time and we each tried a piece. It tasted okay although slightly odd and why was it white? I thought well, maybe I harvested it too early. I shared that thought with someone and they said for a watermelon to be ripe, when you knock it, it should sound hollow. I waited for the next watermelon to grow and when I knocked, it sounded hollow. Ok, time to harvest and see what happens.

    I brought this one to my sister, Heidi, with the caveat of the previous story and asked her to try it. She called me the next morning, "Wendy, the watermelon is white like the last one. It does have a watermelon texture but it sort of tastes like... squash." Her 6 year old asked to try it and after one bite said "I don’t think I like this, mom." To the deer out back the watermelon got donated. 

    In trying to figure out what went wrong, Arielle who works with me, suggested, “It probably cross-pollinated with the squash. Growing up we would always put the watermelon and cantaloupe in one garden and the squashes in another so they wouldn't cross pollinate each other."

    So, even though it looked like an award winning, sweet, delicious watermelon on the outside, the truth of the matter was the insides were not what they needed to be. Why? It was located too close to the squash in the garden. 

    It was such a powerful lesson to me: squash and watermelon are both great plants and should both be a part of a garden. But aside from just being in the garden, another key element is that to produce the fruit they are designed to produce, they need to be in right alignment within the garden. 

    Who we become will reflect not only the essence of the seeds we plant in our lives but the essence of the seeds flourishing in the lives closest to us. It’s not about right and wrong plants, but about proper alignment. 

    Grace and peace,
    Wendy


    P.S. I picked the third watermelon to get a picture for you. But alas as I opened it up, it was pink. Go figure. LOL!

    The Little Drummer Boy

    12/5/11

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    I have some songs that I will regularly listen to, that bring comfort to my soul, no matter what the season. If I had to say there is a theme song for my life, it would be the "Little Drummer Boy." As much as I would like to say it’s the rhythm of the "pa-rum-pa-pum-pum" that I love; the words to the song are really the essence of what I want my life to be known for. (Please remind my family to sing this at my funeral!!!)

    "Come they told me... A new born king to see..."
    The invitation. I did not initiate a relationship with the Lord; He called me to Himself. The grace in my life has been defined by walking towards that call. I heard "come" and I am no longer living my life by my own agenda. It can make things a bit uncomfortable at times but I would rather trust His wisdom than mine. 

    "Our finest gifts to bring... to lay before the King... so to honor Him... when we come."
    If I had to sum up what I want my life to be counted for, I want to be able to look back on the time I have had on earth and be able to present it to the Lord as well stewarded. This line of the song expresses what the goal of all that we do really could and should be: to honor someone greater than ourselves.

    "Little Baby... I am a poor boy too... I have no gift to bring... that’s fit to give our King."
    The sense of inadequacy has marked my life from the beginning. I can even remember at age 4 thinking that if I were to meet Jesus, what could I possibly give Him to express my gratitude for all that He has given me.  The call is greater than what I feel like I have to offer in return. He always calls us up higher and to something greater than what we can think or imagine. 

    "Shall I play for you on my drum?"
    The Lord doesn’t ask for what we don’t have but asks us to give what we do have. So many times I will wish I was this or that; or wish I had this or that. But what the secret to joy in life is to express our lives through who and what we are. The little drummer boy drums. He doesn’t play the French horn. He expresses freely who he is and the way he was made.

    "Mary nodded... The ox and lamb kept time."
    As I express who I am, I can influence those around me. The world is crying out for the sons of Glory to be revealed. The lack of rhythm and hope we see in the world, I believe, is because many times, we are not willing to play our own drums. We spend so much time complaining about how we wish we had a different instrument or we simply don't practice the instrument we have. 

    "I played my drum for Him. I played my best for him."
    This is what life is all about. Playing our drums. Playing with all our heart. Living.

    "Then He smiled at me... Me and my drum."
    The joy in life, which at times seems so elusive, is found in this... He smiled at me. 

    Grace and Peace,
    Wendy

    An Example of Kindness

    11/17/11

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    "The true character of the loveliness that speaks for God is always unnoticed by the one possessing that quality. Conscious influence is prideful and unchristian. If I wonder if I am being of any use to God, I instantly lose the beauty and the freshness of the touch of the Lord. “He who believes in Me . . . out of his heart will flow rivers of living water” (John 7:38).  And if I examine the outflow, I lose the touch of the Lord. 
    Who are the people who have influenced us most? Certainly not the ones who thought they did, but those who did not have even the slightest idea that they were influencing us. In the Christian life, godly influence is never conscious of itself. If we are conscious of our influence, it ceases to have the genuine loveliness which is characteristic of the touch of Jesus. We always know when Jesus is at work because He produces in the commonplace something that is inspiring."
    -Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest August 21st 


    There are some people who leave an indelible mark on our lives. Recently, I went visit one of my original Carpe Diem clients who is in a nursing home.  This woman was a source of encouragement and hope to me; a reflection of what life can hold after living through many decades. She lived in one of the most beautiful houses that I have ever been in. It is older than Mount Vernon and decorated with such taste that I still dream of a high canopy bed like the one in her guest room. 

    She gave me the moral support that I needed in a very important time of my life. I was not even in a year into starting my company, Carpe Diem Cleaning, and working hard to figure out my business and this thing called life. She was my every Friday client and my time in her house was for cleaning, but it was also to have a good conversation. I remember she was keeping up with the OJ Simpson trial and one of our first debates was whether humans are basically good or basically sinful. 

    Every week in those early years ended with hope because I got to spend time with her. She showed me that money was not the answer to life. She had every material dream but she taught me that life is really about the heart. Whether it was the words of encouragement or some extra clothes that she didn’t need any more or a bouquet of roses from her exquisite rose garden, I left her house knowing someone believed in me. Then life happened and it got busy and I wasn't able to personally be there every week. She continued to support us whether it was always keeping Carpe Diem as her cleaning company (even during some of our growing pains) or being a cheerleader for my employees. Kindness was her underlying motivation throughout time. 

    A few weeks ago, her husband called me to share that her health turned and she was now in a home. He and their daughter have done an incredible job taking care of her and even in this season, their example of faithfulness has been humbling to watch. When I went to visit her, she didn’t fully recognize me and she was very tired. I was not sure what to do, so I went to find someone in the home to ask what was best. A nurse came with me, just to check in, and as we were talking, she shared how sometimes my friend would not remember who the nurse was, but as she tucked her in at night, my friend would say "thank you" and "I love you." I am hoping to go sometime soon when she is having a good day, so I can say "thank you" to her one more time. 

    One of my observations has been when we get older, whatever filters we developed through adulthood, simply erode.  I have known some people whose filters have stopped working and now they are just plain mean. Any façade of kindness no longer exists and what's really inside, comes out. But with my friend, as her filters have faded, only has kindness left. Once again, she has made an impression on me on how to live my life well.

    Lord, let my heart be soft towards you so that some day when my filters are gone, people will see a loving person.  Thank you A. for being a guidepost for me!

    Rosa Parks & Stewardship

    10/18/11

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    “The opposite of a fact is falsehood, but the opposite of one profound truth may very well be another profound truth.”
    Niels Bohr

    How do we know what is our responsibility versus God’s? 
    I think we can see a great example of this in the life of Rosa Parks.

    Sewing, church, and civil rights meetings. Those were the main activities of Rosa Park’s life. For the first four decades of her life, she modeled stewardship: 

    Rosa Parks, 1955
    Sewing- it was a skill that put food on the table.

    Church- spending time with her Lord and community.

    Civil Rights- her heart’s desire for justice. Ten years before the infamous bus incident, she was living her life, doing her thing, and in the midst of that, experienced rude and unacceptable behavior of a certain bus driver. In her heart, she made a commitment to never ride his bus again.

    Her goal in life was not to be famous but to be faithful. Integrity marked her words and her actions. When they were in the process of figuring out what would be the best method for bringing justice and equality, she wasn’t looking for a fight or to be "the" person in the spotlight. As I listen to her story, I hear the principles that framed her decisions just as the banks of a river will determine its course. She lived the well prepared life of a good steward and look at the outcome.

    Many times I worry about am I fulfilling God’s call on my life. Am I living to my full potential? I look around and see so many others “doing” so many great things to impact others, and I compare myself them and look at the drudgery of my stewardship. I am regularly haunted by the thought I may have missed the opportunity God has for me. 

    But in the example of Rosa Parks I see the grace of the tension of our role and God’s responsibility. We are called to be faithful stewards. Faithful to the talents we have been given. And He is faithful to arrange our circumstances to ignite or not what He wants to accomplish through our lives. 

    Rosa Parks wasn’t looking to stage an act of disobedience that evening. Even months later, she and the people around her were not even looking to de-segregate the entire bussing system; they just wanted to be allowed to sit in the middle of the bus. But God had so much more for her than she even realized. That fateful night, she was tired from working hard but she was faithful to expanding the picture of what true, healthy, reconciled Christian community could be like. She was also tired of the day-to-day injustice she saw and experienced and then she happened to get on the bus of that rude driver from 10 years ago, who, well…. hadn’t really changed. She stayed true to who she was and God ignited the rest. 

    A few weeks ago while eating at Ollie’s  Noodles in NYC, I read my fortune cookie at the end of dinner. It said "the prepared speaker is the only one who can be confident." My role is to be faithful and to prepare. God’s role is to set up the circumstance of my life so that faithfulness can shine where He sees fits. As a flower blooms wherever it is planted, so must I be faithful whether I bloom in the hidden field for only God’s delight or in the arboretum for everyone to see.  Be faithful and steward what He gives you. 
    Then let Him do the rest.


    Blessings,
    Wendy