Unlocking the Creative

Grace and Peace Friends,

Over a year ago, I was attending an event alongside this gym in Durham. As I watched this group of people rowing together and then running together, it completely intrigued me. I decided to look into it and it turned out to be CrossFit Durham. 

CrossFit has three pillars to its exercise philosophy. One is “ fully functional.” The exercises that we do in CrossFit, mimic functional movement from squatting to running to even the dreaded burpees. Two is “high intensity.” It is better to be intense for a shorter period of time then to go for a long time with less intensity. Three is “constantly varied.” The element of change keeps your body (and mind) engaged.  So, I started their CrossFit Boot Camp and I have since learned many things about their program and about myself.

The first day of bootcamp I woke up at 4am, absolutely nervous. I felt like I was in elementary school gym class again and all those fears of mockery, rejection, and inability resurfaced. But one of my life’s cry has been “Lord, let me experience that which I fear so that it will not have a hold on me.” Golly, this life of faith is just not always easy! 

That first day… I thought I would die. But I knew I had to conquer my fear so I have kept up with it for over a year now and it’s become a part of my lifestyle. One of the first benefits was the I was able to make a complete recover from having my Achilles tendon surgery. Two, besides feeling better, there are several things that I have learned along the way.

One: there’s a difference between being fast and strong. As much as I don’t want to admit it, I am one of the slowest people in the class. Every session I have to fight the feeling of inadequacies because of my slowness. However the other day I realized I had other qualities. We were doing 10 rounds of 10 kettle bell swings and 100 meter run. My kettle bell swings are with 35 lbs. and our coach told me I could increase the weight. Though most of my classmates sped through the exercise, I was carrying more kettle bell weight that they were. The reality is, I don’t need to compare. We all have our individual strengths and the goal is fitness, not beating others. We all have different assets and I may not be good at the most obvious one but it doesn’t negate the other areas that I am strong. I can celebrate my successes even if they are different from most everyone else.

Two:  we had a work-out that we were warned before-hand was mostly about mental toughness. The consequence for breaking the exercise was having to do burpees.  I tell you what… I was 100% motivated to not do burpees! So, I applied myself and I got that exercise done within the recommended time without doing ANY burpees. But what was fascinating is that a couple of the top guys in our class completely folded with this exercise. It took them almost double the time and they struggled like no other exercise we did before or since then. I realized that it wasn’t just about not doing burpees that got me through it. I have had to develop mental fortitude to conquer my fears to just show up for this class. Mental strength really is an important aspect of sustainable exercise.

Three: I love group class! Why? It helps provide a rhythm and pace that does not happen when it’s just me. Others can pull out of us what we cannot always reach within to pull out. But the other day, one of the folks that I feel comfortable around in the class was absent. And in the spot where those people normally do their exercises, the top dog in our class decided to make his station for the day. Can I tell you, it kind of flipped me out and those feelings of inadequacy swelled up. We were doing a repeat work out to see our improvement, and I shaved a 1 minute and half off of the routine! Why? Was I that more fit in a month? Maybe a little. But I think it had to do with proximity. Instead of gauging my pace with those I feel comfortable with, I was gauging with someone light years ahead and it pulled something extra out of me. It made me think: am I willing to go outside of my comfort zone in other areas of my life to walk with those that are farther ahead than I am? What might happen if I did that?

Four: I count even if I am not the best. The first few bootcamps I did on my own and I showed up at 7:18am every time. Then Ashley, our coach, from her heart said, “Wendy, the class starts at 7:15.” Instantly she apologized but I was so grateful for that kind rebuke. Why?  I could tell it was out of love/care and it was the first time that I realized that I mattered and that I really was part of the class. So many times I walk into a room and hope to be invisible and embrace that underlying belief that I don’t count or matter. But I realized in that moment, that even in small ways, I do impact others. I have been more on time since that day than ever before in my life.

Five: I need community. The first few boot camps I attended as I mentioned, I was late. The mental battles that went on from 6:07am to 6:53am were constant and not always won. But then two things happened. First, my sister, Jessica joined me at the early morning classes. Second,  I received the gift of Nana, who is now my foster daughter. Jessica calls me every morning to make sure I am awake and Nana needs to catch her bus just after 7am which gets me to class at 7:12 every time. Without that relational net, I would still be showing up at 7:18am. I am grateful.

Six: it’s okay to modify. My tendencies are to be an all or nothing type of gal. But in our routines, there are some things that I just truly physically struggle with doing. But instead of condemning myself and not participating, Ashley will modify the routine for me. And let me tell you, I still get a big work out. My victories come even in the process.

Seven: It’s important to have a great coach. Ashley has been the coach for all the bootcamps. Everyone knows my name because of the frequency with which it is called. However I am grateful because she is committed to proper form. She wants the best for us which means she is committed to sharing what I need to hear, not what I want to hear. Additionally, she has been the one that keeps calling me to another level of strength. She has a perspective of experience that has helped me to do things I didn’t know or think I could do.

This experience has been great for me as I normally do not pursue that which I am inadequate in however I knew I needed a strong exercise routine so it was worth the pain to conquer this area of my life.

There are so many lessons that can apply to different spheres in my life. I am grateful for CrossFit. 

Wendy